LISTEN UP

Proverbs 13:1 (KJV)

A wise son heareth his father's instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.

I am the father of two boys, both of which I am immensely proud of.

In both cases I now have grandchildren, who are old enough for me to witness just a little bit both of their character and of my son’s styles of molding them through:

·   Training

·   Discipline and

·   Education

I have had the privilege of seeing my sons pass through several stages of their lives:

·   When they were toddlers and their momma and I were their whole world

·   When they were children and every decision was ours to make for them

·   When they began to express opinions

·   When it became obvious that their momma and I were not their whole world any more

·   When someone else became their whole world and now

·   When we stand outside and are thankful when they let us see into their world

Moreover, as a pastor, I have had opportunity to observe and witness this very same process develop in families:

·   Inside the churches I have pastored

·   In other Christian families we have befriended and

·   In the families of other pastors Anita and I have viewed as mentors and role models

I joke around once in awhile and say, “If I had known how difficult it was going to be to have adult children, I would not have wanted to have any.”

I don’t mean it.

It has been a privilege and my most profound joy to raise Bohannan and Caleb.

I would not trade one second I have had with either of them.

I’ve told you the story of the day I was out for a walk in Newport, OR.

I was at a motel and it was wet outside I think so I was indoors:

·   Through the lobby

·   Down the hall

·   Up the stairs

·   Down the hall

·   Down the stairs and back

·   Through the lobby

There were two couples, much older than I am sitting in the lobby talking and I would catches moments of their conversation as I walked passed them, again and again.

I say they were older than me because they were talking about their children.

·   All of whom were retired.

·   Their kids had to have been between 62 and 70 years old.

And these “parents” were worried about them.

·   They were questioning how their kids were spending their retirements.

·   They were wondering if their grandchildren were behaving properly.[1]

I listened to all of this as I walked and I came to the conclusion:

As children grow up,

·   Their view of their relationship to their parents changes but

·   The parent’s view of their relationship to their children does not

I know that I can never have those little babies I held in the hospital back.

But I am as in awe of my sons today as I was the very first time I laid eyes on them.

But I can tell you that not everyone feels that way.

I could tell you story after story of a preacher, gone to heaven now, who confessed to me that he had told his grandson, “I just don’t ever want to see you again son.”

His grandson was a drug addict who never came to see his preacher grandfather except to steal something from the house that he could sell to buy more drugs.

I could tell you of parents who never get to see their sons or their daughters because they married, and in order to keep peace in their marriage they were forced to have nothing to do with their mom and dad.

I could tell you of Christian parents who live every day with a hole in their gut because their child fell in love with someone who does not believe the Word of God and, whether they quit believing or not is impossible to tell, but they did quit living for God as their parents dreamed that they would.

On the flip side I know both men and women who have told me that, though they refused to listen to their parents about that boy or girl, five or ten years down the road they say to me that mom and dad were right.

It doesn’t mean that mom and dad are right every time.

But the Bible does say,

Proverbs 13:1 (KJV)

A wise son heareth his father's instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.

I want to try to give you a few lessons based on some observations from this simple verse.

Let’s consider first,

I. WHO IS THE SON?

Proverbs 13:1 (KJV)

A wise son heareth his father's instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.

Let’s just focus on the word “son” for a moment.

We’ll start out with this, the son can be a:

·   Child,

·   Young man or even a

·   Grandson

There are a number of lessons here.

A. What happens in the life of a child is something like this.

Foolishness is bound in them, and the parents, if they are wise and consistent, gain victory over that foolishness when the child is very young.

Mom and Dad you had better get victory over it when they are young. Before age ten – because it is not going to get easier.

By the time a child reaches age ten they have got some ideas of their own. They have been introduced to enough other people – too many of them young and foolish just as they are, and they have learned some very bad things from them.

At about 13, they begin questioning what mom and dad have taught them.[2]

At this point, “Because I said is not a good enough answer.”[3]

They are at a place in their lives where they are beginning the transition to adulthood.

An adult cannot lean on his her parent’s answers.

They have to figure things out for themselves, they have to have answers so they know what it is they believe.

Their questions and challenges should not be taken as a threat.

They need to know.

Somewhere around age sixteen, they begin to challenge the authority of the home.

This will almost always translate into mom having tension with the daughters and dad having tension with the sons.

·   You can’t have two women running the kitchen and

·   You can’t have two men running the garage

For the boys it will be something like this:

·   At sixteen I thought my dad was the dumbest man on the planet

·   At age twenty-one I knew he was the dumbest man on the planet

·   By age thirty-five dad was getting smarter all the time

·   At age forty, my dad is the smartest man on the planet

·   Age sixty or sixty-five, I wish I could ask my dad what to do about this.

Young men, listen to me:

Your dad is your dad, no matter how old you are.

And a wise son hears his father’s instruction.

·   He may not get to tell you what to do anymore.

·   He may not turn you over his knee and take the switch to you any more but

·   He will always be your God-given, number one source for counsel and instruction.

There is another hidden jewel in this definition

B. That is the role of the grandfather

Our current culture practically dismisses the role of the father once a kid gets to be 18, 20 at the most.

We joke about those people who are 30 and still living in their parent’s home.

Has anyone ever thought that, maybe they are there to help their parents?

Remember that Abraham found Isaac’s wife when Isaac was forty.

Did you know that Jacob and Esau would have been 15 years old when Abraham died?

Abraham was the patriarch of the family – he would have still been leading the family, including Isaac, Jacob and Esau well into his grandson’s teenage years.

Jacob, not Joseph, blessed Joseph’s sons, including his grandsons as part of the twelve tribes of Israel.

It is almost certain that Belshazzar, the king that followed Nebuchadnezzar, was Nebuchadnezzar’s grandson, not his son.

Anyone who is thinking can see that our country is coming apart at the seams.

One of the reasons is because of the disintegration of the multi-generational family unit.

When young people grow up with mom and dad and grandpa and grandma, and they are all on the same page spiritually, there is a much greater possibility that those kids will grow up sticking close to mom and dad and holding onto the doctrines and faith that mom and dad and grandpa and grandma taught the,

I want to move on to address the question,

II. WHO IS THE FATHER?

Proverbs 13:1 (KJV)

A wise son heareth his father's instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.

In this case I want to present four answers I found in Hebrew Lexicon

A. Our forefathers

What immediately came to my mind was the old hymn, Faith of Our Fathers[4].

Faith of our fathers, living still,
In spite of dungeon, fire, and sword;
Oh, how our hearts beat high with joy
Whene’er we hear that glorious Word!

Refrain:
Faith of our fathers, holy faith!
We will be true to thee till death.

Our fathers, chained in prisons dark,
Were still in heart and conscience free;
How sweet would be their children’s fate,
If they, like them, could die for thee!

Faith of our fathers, we will strive
To win all nations unto thee;
And through the truth that comes from God,
We all shall then be truly free.

Faith of our fathers, we will love
Both friend and foe in all our strife;
And preach thee, too, as love knows how
By kindly words and virtuous life.

I am not a little disgusted at the number of people who grew up in fundamental Baptist churches who have jumped ship into every sort of spiritual abomination imaginable.

They know better than:

·   Brewing their own beer and

·   Collecting fancy bottles of wine and

·   Smoking stogie cigars with the boys

They are now doing those things and pretending that they are glorifying God in doing it.

B. Our grandfathers

I don’t think I need to say any more on this than I already have other than to point out that this is a second admonition within the same verse to promote the extended family – especially if that family will strengthen the faith.

C. Our fathers

·   The fifteen year old as well as the five year old

·   The twenty year old as well as the ten year old

·   The thirty year old as well as the fifty year old

If you are sixty years old and still blessed enough to speak to your mom and dad, I am telling you, listen to their instruction.

Don’t just hear them out.

Hear their instruction and do it.

The more serious the situation, the more earnestly you need to consider the wisdom they provide you – God gave you that father on purpose.

D. Our Heavenly Father

Here’s the thing, if a person won’t listen to their father or their grandfather or remain true to the faith of their forefathers, I promise you they will not ultimately honor their Heavenly Father.

But someone will say, “Pastor, my dad is not saved, or he is not godly.”

The Bible has an answer for you,

Psalms 27:10 (KJV)

When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.

Go to God.

I do not believe you can go around your mother and father to get to God unless they have abdicated their spiritual role through worldliness or wickedness.

But if they have left the faith, or are not in the faith, trust God to step up Himself to take up that role for you.

One last thing and I will be done tonight,

III. WHAT IS INSTRUCTION?

Proverbs 13:1 (KJV)

A wise son heareth his father's instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.

The word instruction means:

·   Discipline

·   Chastening

·   Correction

But we can also find a definition within the verse, rebuke.

It’s funny how life works in cycles.

·   Your parents took care of you when you were little and could not take care of yourself

·   If you are blessed, you will be privileged to take care of them when they are old and can’t take care of themselves.

·   Little children often run from their parents’ correction until they finally wise up that running is useless

·   And then about 17 or 18 they start running again until they discover that their parents aren’t their to run after them any more.

If you have a godly mother and father, and they feel strongly enough about something to rebuke you over it, even though you now think of yourself as an adult.

You would be very wise to

·   Stop,

·   Listen up and

·   At least consider whether they are right.

Proverbs 13:1 (KJV)

A wise son heareth his father's instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.

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[1] Their grandkids had to have been in their fifties and they are still worried if they were misbehaving.

[2] They may have started questioning younger than this, but at this age they start to believe they have a right to verbalize those questions.

[3] That is a good answer when they are younger. They need to learn the principle of obedience to authority without hesitation or reservation.

[4] Faith of Our Fathers | Frederick W. Faber