Sunday, October 9, 2016

ALWAY WITH GRACE


Ephesians 4:25-32 (KJV)
Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.
Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
Neither give place to the devil.
Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

A careful reading of the books of Ephesians and Colossians will reveal that they are similar and, in many instances, parallel one of another.

Colossians 4:6 (KJV) says
Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

I want to preach tonight on the subject, How to Speak “Alway with Grace.”

To speak in any other fashion would both:
·   Give place to the devil (vs 27) and
·   Grieve the Holy Spirit (vs 30)

So it seems like we would want to pay attention.

Firstly then be
I. HONEST BUT KIND
Ephesians 4:25
Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.

Vs 32
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Allow me to point out again that the reason we want to do this is that we are members one of another.

To be dishonest and to lie to yourself is probably the worst form of deception.

·   It is bad to lie to others
·   It is reprobate to be self-deceived

A lie can never do anyone good.
It is always harmful and destructive.

To lie to another person also shows lack of true care for that person.

But there is a provision in this exhortation because all of us know people who try to hurt with the truth.

They tell what they think is the truth, and they do it in a way that is meant to cut and to hurt.

So first of all
Tell the truth to the neighbor.
You don’t need to tell the truth about the neighbor to someone else.

Secondly
Tell the truth in a kind and tenderhearted fashion.

Say a person’s tie needs to be straightened.
·   You can help them straighten their tie, or tell them discreetly or
·   You could shout it out in a mocking and disparaging tone

It might be you have said the exact same words but how and when you say them is the difference between
·   being kind and tenderhearted or
·   being cruel and mean spirited

We don’t ever want to be dishonest or deceitful.
But we don’t always have to say all that we know.

·   To speak on the behalf of someone to someone who might be able to help them is a kind and gracious thing.
·   To speak about that same person to someone who has little or knowing business knowing it is to commit the sin of gossip.

When you speak, be both honest and kind.

Secondly, let your speech be
II. GOOD AND HELPFUL
Vs 29
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

I want to focus right now on two phrases in the passage:
·   No corrupt communication and
·   Edifying

A. The word corrupt means rotten
Other words associated with it are
·   Worthless and
·   Bad

The thing that comes to my mind is rotten food.
Rotten food is worthless.
·   You can’t eat it
·   You can’t feed it to your pets
·   It’s likely to stink up the refrigerator

·   Sometimes the smell will make you sick
·   Most of the time eating it would make you sick
It’s bad.

God’s Word tells us not to speak things that are
·   Rotten
·   Worthless
·   Smelly
·   Sickening and
·   Bad

Notice that he didn’t say “Let little corrupt communication.”
He said, Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth…

You need to stop it before it gets out.

The way to do that is to make sure that what comes out of your mouth is good.
James 3:8-12 (KJV)
But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.
Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God.
Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.
Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?
Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh.

You want to train your tongue so that everything that comes out of your mouth is a blessing.

By the way, that it is good doesn’t mean it always has to be positive and gushy.

Negative words may also be,
B. Edifying
2 Timothy 4:2 (KJV)
Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.

Paul told Timothy to do three things when he preached:
·   Reprove – tell a fault
·   Rebuke – to censure or forbid
·   Exhort – to call near to comfort

Two out of the three things a preacher is supposed to do has a negative flavor to it.

It’s a matter of motive.
It can be positive or negative; if it helps to build up and strengthen a person then it is good.

In our refrigerator at any given time there might be things that are:
·   Sweet
·   Savoury
·   Spicy
·   Sour
·   Bitter or
·   Tart

As long as they are nutritious and serve to help the body, they are good for food.

It’s only when they spoil and go rotten that they are no good.

When you speak say things that are:
Honest but kind
Good and helpful

And finally speak things that are,
III. BENEVOLENT AND GENTLE
Vs 31
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

I am going to work off a particular definition of evil speaking which is, malevolent, and turn it around.

A. The opposite of malevolent is – benevolent.
It means
·   charitable,
·   giving,
·   compassionate

It is akin to forgiving.

It is giving someone what they do not deserve

For instance, you might know some thing to be true of another person.

A benevolent spirit won’t tell anyone.
1 Peter 4:8 (KJV)
And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.

Proverbs 10:12 (KJV)
Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.

Proverbs 11:13 (KJV)
A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.

Proverbs 12:23 (KJV)
A prudent man concealeth knowledge: but the heart of fools proclaimeth foolishness.

There are times when it is obviously very wrong to keep something concealed or covered up – but it usually becomes really obvious when those times are.

Most of the time good Christian benevolence demands we do tell others what we know[1]

By the way, I think I can tell you how to tell when to speak and when to conceal a thing.
B. When you have a gentle spirit
Notice the terms
·   bitterness, and
·   wrath, and
·   anger, and
·   clamour, and
·   evil speaking,
·   malice:

All of those terms have to do with unrestrained passions.

·   If you are out of control of yourself.
·   If you cannot contain yourself
·   If you feel like you have to beat someone up with your words

Then you don’t need to be saying them.

If, on the other hand
·   With a tender and forgiving heart
·   With a genuine and sincere concern for the wellbeing of others
·   After having prayed through the matter
You have concluded that the proper parties need to hear what you have to say, then you are in the right place to reveal a matter rather than conceal it.

Conclusion
·   The most important thing to God is Christ
·   The most important thing to Christ is the church
·   The most important thing in the church is unity

If our speech isn’t “always with grace” we:
·   Give place to the devil
·   Grieve the Holy Spirit and
·   Threaten the unity of Christ’s church

May our speech always be
·   Honest but kind
·   Good and helpful
·   Benevolent and Gentle




[1] Or think we know.

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