Ephesians 4:25-32 (KJV)
Wherefore putting away
lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of
another.
Be ye angry, and sin
not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
Neither give place to
the devil.
Let him that stole steal
no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is
good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.
Let no corrupt
communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of
edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
And grieve not the holy
Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
Let all bitterness, and
wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with
all malice:
And be ye kind one to
another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake
hath forgiven you.
A careful reading of the
books of Ephesians and Colossians will reveal that they are similar and, in
many instances, parallel one of another.
Colossians 4:6 (KJV)
says
Let your speech be alway
with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every
man.
I want to preach tonight
on the subject, How to Speak “Alway with
Grace.”
To speak in any other
fashion would both:
· Give place to the devil (vs 27) and
· Grieve the Holy Spirit (vs 30)
So it seems like we
would want to pay attention.
Firstly then be
I. HONEST BUT
KIND
Ephesians 4:25
Wherefore putting away
lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.
Vs 32
And be ye kind one to
another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake
hath forgiven you.
Allow me to point out
again that the reason we want to do this is that we are members one of another.
To be dishonest and to
lie to yourself is probably the worst form of deception.
· It is bad to lie to others
· It is reprobate to be self-deceived
A lie can never do
anyone good.
It is always harmful and
destructive.
To lie to another person
also shows lack of true care for that person.
But there is a provision
in this exhortation because all of us know people who try to hurt with the
truth.
They tell what they
think is the truth, and they do it in a way that is meant to cut and to hurt.
So first of all
Tell the truth to the neighbor.
You don’t need to tell
the truth about the neighbor to someone else.
Secondly
Tell the truth in a kind and tenderhearted fashion.
Say a person’s tie needs
to be straightened.
· You can help them straighten their tie, or tell them
discreetly or
· You could shout it out in a mocking and disparaging tone
It might be you have
said the exact same words but how and when you say them is the difference
between
· being kind and tenderhearted or
· being cruel and mean spirited
We don’t ever want to be
dishonest or deceitful.
But we don’t always have
to say all that we know.
· To speak on the behalf of someone to someone who might be
able to help them is a kind and gracious thing.
· To speak about that same person to someone who has little or
knowing business knowing it is to commit the sin of gossip.
When you speak, be both
honest and kind.
Secondly, let your
speech be
II. GOOD AND
HELPFUL
Vs 29
Let no corrupt
communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of
edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
I want to focus right
now on two phrases in the passage:
· No corrupt communication and
· Edifying
A. The word corrupt means rotten
Other words associated
with it are
· Worthless and
· Bad
The thing that comes to
my mind is rotten food.
Rotten food is
worthless.
· You can’t eat it
· You can’t feed it to your pets
· It’s likely to stink up the refrigerator
· Sometimes the smell will make you sick
· Most of the time eating it would make you sick
It’s bad.
God’s Word tells us not
to speak things that are
· Rotten
· Worthless
· Smelly
· Sickening and
· Bad
Notice that he didn’t say
“Let little corrupt communication.”
He said, “Let no corrupt
communication proceed out of your mouth…”
You need to stop it
before it gets out.
The way to do that is to
make sure that what comes out of your mouth is good.
James 3:8-12 (KJV)
But the tongue can no
man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.
Therewith bless we God,
even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the
similitude of God.
Out of the same mouth
proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.
Doth a fountain send
forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?
Can the fig tree, my
brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both
yield salt water and fresh.
You want to train your
tongue so that everything that comes out of your mouth is a blessing.
By the way, that it is
good doesn’t mean it always has to be positive and gushy.
Negative words may also
be,
B. Edifying
2 Timothy 4:2 (KJV)
Preach the word; be
instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all
longsuffering and doctrine.
Paul told Timothy to do
three things when he preached:
· Reprove – tell a fault
· Rebuke – to censure or forbid
· Exhort – to call near to comfort
Two out of the three
things a preacher is supposed to do has a negative flavor to it.
It’s a matter of motive.
It can be positive or negative;
if it helps to build up and strengthen a person then it is good.
In our refrigerator at any
given time there might be things that are:
· Sweet
· Savoury
· Spicy
· Sour
· Bitter or
· Tart
As long as they are
nutritious and serve to help the body, they are good for food.
It’s only when they
spoil and go rotten that they are no good.
When you speak say things
that are:
Honest but kind
Good and helpful
And finally speak things
that are,
III. BENEVOLENT
AND GENTLE
Vs 31
Let all bitterness, and
wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with
all malice:
I am going to work off a
particular definition of evil speaking which is, malevolent, and turn it
around.
A. The opposite of malevolent is – benevolent.
It means
· charitable,
· giving,
· compassionate
It is akin to forgiving.
It is giving someone
what they do not deserve
For instance, you might
know some thing to be true of another person.
A benevolent spirit
won’t tell anyone.
1 Peter 4:8 (KJV)
And above all things
have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of
sins.
Proverbs 10:12 (KJV)
Hatred stirreth up
strifes: but love covereth all sins.
Proverbs 11:13 (KJV)
A talebearer revealeth
secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.
Proverbs 12:23 (KJV)
A prudent man concealeth
knowledge: but the heart of fools proclaimeth foolishness.
There are times when it
is obviously very wrong to keep something concealed or covered up – but it
usually becomes really obvious when those times are.
Most of the time good
Christian benevolence demands we do tell others what we know[1]
By the way, I think I
can tell you how to tell when to speak and when to conceal a thing.
B. When you have a gentle spirit
Notice the terms
· bitterness, and
· wrath, and
· anger, and
· clamour, and
· evil speaking,
· malice:
All of those terms have
to do with unrestrained passions.
· If you are out of control of yourself.
· If you cannot contain yourself
· If you feel like you have to beat someone up with your words
Then you don’t need to
be saying them.
If, on the other hand
· With a tender and forgiving heart
· With a genuine and sincere concern for the wellbeing of
others
· After having prayed through the matter
You have concluded that
the proper parties need to hear what you have to say, then you are in the right
place to reveal a matter rather than conceal it.
Conclusion
· The most important thing to God is Christ
· The most important thing to Christ is the church
· The most important thing in the church is unity
If our speech isn’t
“always with grace” we:
· Give place to the devil
· Grieve the Holy Spirit and
· Threaten the unity of Christ’s church
May our speech always be
· Honest but kind
· Good and helpful
· Benevolent and Gentle
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