The Keys of Communication

The Keys of Communication[1]

Scriptures on communication

Genesis 2:25 (KJV)

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Not ashamed, 

Open communication

Deuteronomy 6:7 (KJV)

And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

Proverbs 25:11 (KJV)

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.

Malachi 3:16 (KJV)

Then they that feared the LORD spake often one to another: and the LORD hearkened, and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared the LORD, and that thought upon his name.

Luke 24:13-17 (KJV)

And, behold, two of them went that same day to a village called Emmaus, which was from Jerusalem about threescore furlongs.

And they talked together of all these things which had happened.

And it came to pass, that, while they communed together and reasoned, Jesus himself drew near, and went with them.

But their eyes were holden that they should not know him.

And he said unto them, What manner of communications are these that ye have one to another, as ye walk, and are sad?

Luke 24:32 (KJV)

And they said one to another, Did not our heart burn within us, while he talked with us by the way, and while he opened to us the scriptures?

Ephesians 4:13-14 (KJV)

Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:

That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;

The power of communication

Tower of Babel, broken communication/broken community

Genesis 11:1-9 (KJV)

And the whole earth was of one language, and of one speech.

And it came to pass, as they journeyed from the east, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar; and they dwelt there.

And they said one to another, Go to, let us make brick, and burn them throughly. And they had brick for stone, and slime had they for morter.

And they said, Go to, let us build us a city and a tower, whose top may reach unto heaven; and let us make us a name, lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth.

And the LORD came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of men builded.

And the LORD said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.

Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech.

So the LORD scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city.

Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the LORD did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the LORD scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth.

I. THE KEY OF ATTENTION

Romans 15:1-2 (KJV)

We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves.

Let every one of us please his neighbour for his good to edification.

Discover, learn about, and show interest in the interests of your spouse.

This is going to be hard work!

It will be much easier to maintain than to restore.

Make effort to dwell with your spouse “according to knowledge.”[2]

I believe that the reason this passage is directed to the husband is that the wife is more naturally given to take interest in the interests of her husband.

Today’s culture may have seared the wife’s interest.

·   Work[3] outside of the home

·   Friends unknown to her husband

·   Income independent of husband’s

These things may require enough of her attention that she has less to give to her husband. They might also distract her so that she is more interested in these things than the interests of her husband.

These have always been the struggles of the husband, but modern culture may be placing them upon the wife as well.

II. THE KEY OF ABSOLUTE BEING

Isaiah 55:2-3 (KJV)

Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfieth not? hearken diligently unto me, and eat ye that which is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness.

Incline your ear, and come unto me: hear, and your soul shall live; and I will make an everlasting covenant with you, even the sure mercies of David.

Train yourself to listen with your entirebeing.

How we communicate

·   Spoken Word                7%

·   Facial Expression       55%

·   Tone of Voice             38%

One of the best things you can do when you are listening to your spouse is to just touch them as you do so.

We give animals what human beings need the most. 

Isn’t it true that, at least those of us who are pet people, like to touch our pets?

·   Holding hands,

·   Looking into each others’ eyes

III. THE KEY OF ADMIRATION

Watch for opportunities to give praise, honor, and reverence to your mate, parents, and children.

Psalms 33:1 (KJV)

Rejoice in the LORD, O ye righteous: for praise is comely for the upright.

Psalms 147:1 (KJV)

Praise ye the LORD: for it is good to sing praises unto our God; for it is pleasant; and praise is comely.

If Praise is comely then put-downs are ugly.

Learn to express compliments.

Discipline not to express the negative.

IV. THE KEY OF ARRANGEMENT

Plan times and settings just for communication.

John 13:1-2 (KJV)

Now before the feast of the passover, when Jesus knew that his hour was come that he should depart out of this world unto the Father, having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end.

And supper being ended, the devil having now put into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon's son, to betray him;

A man needs this worse than he knows. It helps to bring balance and equilibrium to his life.

A wife needs it because it gives her a feeling of intimacy and closeness and oneness with her husband.

V. THE KEY OF ALERTNESS

Watch for and accept God-given opportunities to communicate.

Associated with John 13:1-2

If you’re walking with God, God knows your need to communicate; He’ll hand you opportunities.

VI. THE KEY OF ASKING

Ask questions.

Jesus was the greatest communicator who ever lived. He would: 

·   Teach, then 

·   Answer questions, then 

·   Ask questions.

VII. THE KEY OF AFFECTION

Learn to draw emotional word pictures.

2 Samuel 12:1-5 (KJV)

And the LORD sent Nathan unto David. And he came unto him, and said unto him, There were two men in one city; the one rich, and the other poor.

The rich man had exceeding many flocks and herds:

But the poor man had nothing, save one little ewe lamb, which he had bought and nourished up: and it grew up together with him, and with his children; it did eat of his own meat, and drank of his own cup, and lay in his bosom, and was unto him as a daughter.

And there came a traveller unto the rich man, and he spared to take of his own flock and of his own herd, to dress for the wayfaring man that was come unto him; but took the poor man's lamb, and dressed it for the man that was come to him.

And David's anger was greatly kindled against the man; and he said to Nathan, As the LORD liveth, the man that hath done this thing shall surely die:

Jesus used the parables and key events of the day.

Luke 7:36-43 (KJV)

And one of the Pharisees desired him that he would eat with him. And he went into the Pharisee's house, and sat down to meat.

And, behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at meat in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster box of ointment,

And stood at his feet behind him weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment.

Now when the Pharisee which had bidden him saw it, he spake within himself, saying, This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman this is that toucheth him: for she is a sinner.

And Jesus answering said unto him, Simon, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And he saith, Master, say on.

There was a certain creditor which had two debtors: the one owed five hundred pence, and the other fifty.

And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most?

Simon answered and said, I suppose that he, to whom he forgave most. And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged.

Find their area of interest.

Try to reach the heart.

Conclusion

If there is a problem between you and anyone else, the solution is not running from communication; the solution is running to communication.

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[1] Acknowledgments are given to Dr. S.M. Davis for the content of this material. I leaned heavily upon his message The Seven Keys to Unlock the Doors of Communication in order develop these lessons.

[2] 1 Peter 3:7 (KJV)

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

[3] With its own concerns unknown to the husband. Also with skills the husband is unaware of, or only has surface knowledge of.