Proverbs 22:15 (KJV)
Foolishness is bound in
the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Sunday nights are
dedicated right now to messages on the various characters or personalities we
find in the book of Proverbs.
I contacted a number of
preacher friends in preparation for this series, and asked them for different
lists of those personalities that they had compiled.
· I had already done it myself.
· But I wanted to make sure I did not overlook something
important.
I will confess than
neither my list nor any of the others I collected, included the character I
want to preach on.
It was not until this
week that it occurred to me that the book of Proverbs makes reference to “a
child” several times[1] –
enough certainly to warrant at least one message.
I have taken the seven
times the word child is found in the Proverbs and divided them into five main
headings for us to consider.
I want to begin with
I. A TRUTH
Proverbs 20:11 (KJV)
Even a child is known by
his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.
In some ways this
passage makes light of the child.
The lesson has to do
with being known for your works.
We might paraphrase it
like this, “Even a kid is judged by his behavior.”
We might as well say,
· “Even a horse is judged by his performance.”
· “Even a dog is judged by his obedience.”
How can you and I expect that the things we do in this life
will not be judged when even a child is know by his doings?
The lesson is “do right”
because you will be known, you will develop a reputation in this life based
upon what you do.
But young people, I
would like to speak to you for just a minute.
You have parents who
love you and are doing the best they know how to raise you to do well in your
life.
But the truth is, you will ultimately be known for the
decisions you make.
People are going to
decide
· To like you or not
· To spend time with you or not
· To hire you or not
on what you choose to
do.
The truth is, they do that right now – while you are
a child.
· If you do things that are good and right they think well of
you
· If you choose to do things that are hurtful and wrong they
don’t
I like being around
kids.
But I don’t like being
around kids who are misbehaving.
Proverbs 20:11 (KJV)
Even a child is known by
his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.
This leads me to speak
about,
II. A TRAINING
Proverbs 22:6 (KJV)
Train up a child in the
way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Ephesians 6:4 (KJV) says
And, ye fathers, provoke
not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of
the Lord.
I think it is true of
every parent that we want people to think well of our kids.
· We want that because it is a reflection on us
· We want that because it brings joy to us but mostly
· We want that because it will make our kids much happier
The Bible tells us
exactly how to make our children happier in life.
· How to make them more successful
· How to give them the best friends
· How to bring to them the most joy
The Bible tells us
exactly:
· How to help them learn in school
· How to keep them out of trouble
· How to do well on their future jobs and
· How to help them live free of guilt from sin
It is our job not to let
them experiment with life and choose their own path, but to guide them to that
which is pure and right and to point them in the way they should go.
Did you see that phrase
mom and dad?
“Train up a child….”
Parenting is more than
providing food and shelter and keeping them safe until they can take care of
themselves.
Parenting is pointing
out the path that they ought to take.
You can’t make them take
it
They will eventually be
responsible to choose for themselves.
But I guarantee you,
more young people will choose the right path if their parents point it out to
them than will if their parents leave them alone and let them follow world’s
lessons.
You have to train them
up.
That leads me to,
III. A TACTIC
Proverbs 22:15 (KJV)
Foolishness is bound in
the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Proverbs 23:13 (KJV)
Withhold not correction
from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
Proverbs 29:15 (KJV)
The rod and reproof give
wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
It is interesting, don’t
you think, that the majority of the Proverbs’ teaching on raising children has
to do with correction.
A. We train our children by correcting them.
This goes to the most
fundamental of anthropological truths.
David said it like this,
Psalms 51:5 (KJV)
Behold, I was shapen in
iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.
The Apostle Paul phrases
it
Romans 3:23 (KJV)
For all have sinned, and
come short of the glory of God;
From the moment we enter
into life, we have a sin nature.
And the sin nature has
to be:
· Restrained at first and
· Corrected over time
None of us, especially
children, choose to do right.
We have to be trained to
do right by being corrected when we do wrong.
It’s like having a vehicle that is out of alignment.
-Every time you take
your hands off the wheel the car goes to the left.
· So first of all – you don’t take your hands off the wheel
and
· Secondly – you keep pushing it to the right until finally
· You take it in to have it realigned
As long as your kids are
in home:
· You keep your hands on them
· You keep pointing them to the right and
· You try to introduce them to Christ who will give them a new
nature
B. The Bible is an old fashioned book and more
modern people tend to dismiss a bunch of it.
· They dismiss what the Bible says about marriage these days
· They dismiss what the Bible says about life these days
· They dismiss what the Bible says about good and evil these
days and
· They dismiss what the Bible says about correction these days
I am giving you every
verse in the book of Proverbs where the word child is found.
Three of those verses
reference correcting them and all three tell us to correct them with a rod.
You will not damage your
child’s ego or personality. You are not going to make your child mean tempered
by spanking them.
However I will hasten to
add
IV. A TERM (or stipulation)
Proverbs 29:21 (KJV)
He that delicately
bringeth up his servant from a child shall have him become his son at the
length.
I’ve written on this
passage before[2]. I would like to read that
to you now.
“Virtually every commentary I have takes this verse negatively and says
one should not bring his servant up delicately, lest he refuse to do the hard
things he needs to do in his work. However, I wonder if this isn't because all
my commentaries are from a different era when slavery was more commonly
practiced. It seems to me that God's desire is to bring us up to be his sons.
True, a person must maintain formal boundaries between employer and employee or
we lose the ability to lead. But there is a movement today toward
"servant-leadership" where the emphasis is not on driving people but
on winning them to our hearts so they follow.
The types
might be different today than they are in the passage. We do not have
servant/slaves born and raised under us. But there are still the positions of
leadership and submission. We may not seek to be in the position of
"father" over others, but we do want to have those who serve under us
in the ministry to have hearts knit with ours.
So the
lesson of the verse is to seek the heart of those you lead.
· Much better
to have them as a son than a slave.
· Much better
to have them invested in the same cause than to serve out of constraint.
O Lord let
me be that kind of leader.”
As parents we must use
correction, and I am confident that the Bible prescription of the rod is not
just old fashioned, but the best form of correction in most circumstances.
However,
Use it “delicately.”
· With discretion
· With great love
· Without anger
The final passage I want
to give to you tonight describes the fruit of Biblical obedience in training up
our children.
I call it,
V. A TREASURE
Proverbs 23:24 (KJV)
The father of the
righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have
joy of him.
Over the years of our
ministry Anita and I have had the pleasure to see a number of preacher families
raise kids who grew up to be a blessing.
One of my favorites was
the relationship that Dr. Dennis Brown had with his son, Pastor Dave Brown.
There was another pastor
down in Oregon I used to enjoy because it seemed to me like every time he got
up to preach he had something positive to say about his son – who grew up to be
his assistant pastor.
I know several people
whose relationship with their adult children is one of friendship.
I can honestly say that
is the case with Anita and I and our boy’s and their families.
· Anita and I did not do
everything right.
· Mostly I didn’t do everything right.
But we did try.
We didn’t bring them
into the world to try to muddle their own way through.
· We learned
· We prayed
· We parented and
We have joy of our
children.
Conclusion
Moms and dads, parent
your children.
Train them up in the way
they should go.
Find God’s plan and
point your kids that way. When they begin to stray a little, set them back on
track.
· Be gracious
· Be forgiving but mostly
· Be consistent
And your kids will grow
up to be a treasure.
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