Proverbs 17:17 (KJV)
A friend loveth at all
times, and a brother is born for adversity.
In this life, outside of
family, there is almost no one more important to us than – a friend.[1]
The connection with a
friend can be so strong
· The need to have a friend
· The fear of losing a friend
· The desire to be a friend
Is such a powerful
influencer in our lives that it can make or break us.
· One person will risk everything to help a friend
· Another will follow a friend to ruin
· When we are lonely, we need a friend
· When we are happy, we want to tell a friend
I read this verse this
week and the thought came to my mind, a friend.
I think everybody just
wants a friend.
And, following the
advice of the Bible, I want to suggest to you that that best way to have a
friend is to be a friend.[2]
Before we look into the
qualities of friendship I want to
I. WARN YOU
ABOUT FRIENDS
The word “friend” or
some form of it is found 107 times in 99 verses of the Bible.
It is surprising how
many of those speak of the friend in a negative fashion.
Job’s friends, for
instance, caused him great pain.
Everybody needs a
friend, but all of us ought to be very careful who we choose as friends.
A. Some people will only use your friendship
Judges 14:20 (KJV)
But Samson's wife was
given to his companion, whom he had used as his friend.
You will discover that
some people pretend to be a friend only to use you.
They think that:
· You have something they want or that
· You can get them something they like
· You can be there when they need you
But the friendship, at
least on their part is not real. They only want you around while you have
something to give them. When whatever you are giving them is gone, they will be
too.
I do not advise you to
be cynical about it.
· You don’t have to question whether every friend is just
trying to use you.
· You don’t have to be angry at those who are only using you.
But you should find
better friends, and you should never feel guilty for not giving them what they
want from you.
B. Some friends will tempt you to turn away
from God
Deuteronomy 13:6 (KJV)
If thy brother, the son
of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy
friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and
serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers;
King Solomon was the
wisest man who has ever lived, outside of Jesus Christ.
Solomon was, in his
youth, humble and God-fearing.
But Solomon made
friendships with people who were not believers. Eventually he married women
from these unbelieving nations and the Bible says,
1 Kings 11:4 (KJV)
For it came to pass,
when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods….
It’s ok to know people,
even to like people who are not Christians, but we have to be very careful or
they will turn our hearts away from the Lord.
Too many young people
(maybe even most young people) make friends, girlfriends and boyfriends with
unsaved people their own age, or with people who say they are saved but do not
live like Christians should live.
· They think they can be friends and still be faithful to God
· They think they will be able to turn their friend to God
But more often than not,
it is the other way around – they turn the young person away from God.
C. Some friends will try to get you to sin
with them and speak evil of you if you do not.
1 Peter 4:3-4 (KJV)
For the time past of our
life may suffice us to have wrought the will of the Gentiles, when we walked in
lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine, revellings, banquetings, and abominable
idolatries:
Wherein they think it
strange that ye run not with them to the same excess of riot, speaking evil of
you:
· Parents ought to carefully choose who their little ones can
hang around
· Teenagers ought to let their parents pick who their friends
are and
· There is a very good reason not to fall in love with anyone
your parents haven’t approved
II. THE
QUALITIES OF A GOOD FRIEND
Proverbs 17:17 (KJV)
A friend loveth at all
times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Please remember, the way
to have a friend like this is to be a friend like this…
A. A real friend is your friend at all times
None of this:
· I am your friend, then
· I am mad at you and then you apologize and
· I am your friend again.
I found over seven
Hebrew words that are translated friend.
One of them is a word
that means “completeness.”
He is your friend
completely.
There is a man I asked
to be my friend more than 30 years ago and he agreed.
Over the years we have
gone different ways.
· I am not always pleased with the decisions he has made
· He is sometimes confused that I will not support something
he is doing
But I speak to him very
often, pray for him more often than that and encourage him in the Lord every
time I hear from him.
And he does the same for
me.
We are friends and we
will be for life.
B. A friend is there in hard times
2 Samuel 16:15-18 (KJV)
And Absalom, and all the
people the men of Israel, came to Jerusalem, and Ahithophel with him.
And it came to pass,
when Hushai the Archite, David's friend, was come unto Absalom, that Hushai
said unto Absalom, God save the king, God save the king.
And Absalom said to
Hushai, Is this thy kindness to thy friend? why wentest thou not with thy
friend?
And Hushai said unto
Absalom, Nay; but whom the LORD, and this people, and all the men of Israel,
choose, his will I be, and with him will I abide.
King David was going
through what must have been the most heartbreaking time of his life.
His own son had led a
rebellion against his kingdom.
David once again had to
flee for his life.
Just like when he had
fled from Saul, he had friends who wanted to go with him.
Hushai was one of them.
But Hushai was just a
good and trusted friend that David knew he could ask him to do the most
difficult thing.
· David asked him to stay behind.
· David wanted him to risk his own life, get in good with
Absalom and be his spy.
The Bible says, John
15:13 (KJV)
Greater love hath no man
than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
C. A friend will tell speak to you face to
face
Exodus 33:11 (KJV)
And the LORD spake unto
Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend. And he turned again into
the camp: but his servant Joshua, the son of Nun, a young man, departed not out
of the tabernacle.
One of those words
translated friend means “confidential friend.”
If you need to hear
something he will talk to you, not about you.
· He knows things about you but he doesn’t tell others.
· If he sees something you need to know about, he quickly gets
in touch and tells you personally
Proverbs 27:17 (KJV)
Iron sharpeneth iron; so
a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
Good friends can be
trusted to tell you things that will improve you.
I’m not saying that a
good friend feels liberty to get in your face and tell you off whenever they
want to.
But a good friend is one
that has earned the right to tell you when you are getting off course and doing
the wrong thing.
Another word translated “friend”
in the Old Testament is one that means, “to
tend, pasture, feed.”
It sounds like a pastor
to me.
He is someone who
watches over you for your welfare.
You ought to think of
your pastor as your friend.
But we all maybe ought
to see ourselves as pastors of our friends.
And then, before I
finish I just want to remind you
III. YOU HAVE
A FRIEND
Proverbs 18:24 (KJV)
A man that hath friends
must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a
brother.
Paul was going through
one of the worst times anyone could.
He was in a prison cell,
he was under arrest for being a Christian and about to go to trial and the
sentence, if convicted, would be execution.
He could have really used a friend.
Granted he was in Rome –
it wasn’t like all of his friends could be there.
Many of them lived
thousands of miles away, and they didn’t have planes and trains to travel on.
· Some of them had to stay home and pastor the churches Paul
had planted.
· Many of them would come, but it would be awhile before they
could get there.
At last the day came for
his first hearing before the court.
Paul wrote to Timothy and said,
2 Timothy 4:16-17 (KJV)
At my first answer no
man stood with me, but all men forsook me: …..
Paul did not name who
these people were.
And he prayed that the
Lord would not hold them guilty for abandoning him like they did.
But they had left him.
Alone.
I imagine he was cold,
because he asked Timothy to bring his cloak.
But even there, in the
courthouse, Paul was not friendless.
He wrote,
2 Timothy 4:17 (KJV)
Notwithstanding the Lord
stood with me, and strengthened me….
Conclusion
(Sigh) a friend!
There is almost nothing
we want more.
Sometimes we will pick a
bad friend just to have a friend.
There is nothing wrong
with being or having good friends.
But I want to beg you –
there is one friend you need above all others.
He is the Lord Jesus
Christ.
And if He is truly your
friend, you will find that friendship is so real and satisfying, you can freely
be a friend even to those who refuse to be a friend in return.
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