Proverbs 11:13-17 (KJV)
A talebearer revealeth
secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.
Where no counsel is, the
people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.
He that is surety for a
stranger shall smart for it: and he that hateth suretiship is sure.
A gracious woman
retaineth honour: and strong men retain riches.
The merciful man doeth
good to his own soul: but he that is cruel troubleth his own flesh.
Not long ago I heard a
lesson meant for counselors, such as those working in the H.O.P.E. program.
It recommended finding
people they called “safe persons” for their counselees[1]
that that can go to and ask for prayer, or confide in.
We sometimes call them
- · Prayer partners or
- · Accountability partners
We mean by that, persons
we can confide it without being judged harshly, and without fearing that they
will tell the wrong persons.
The Bible urges us to
confess our faults one to another[2],
but we need to be wise in choosing who those are that we confess to.
I want to use the term
“safe persons” to describe three characters
I. A FAITHFUL
SPIRIT
Proverbs 11:13 (KJV)
A talebearer revealeth
secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.
Faithfulness, in this
case, has to do with building up or supporting. It literally means, “to go to the right hand” or to be
someone’s right hand man.
Jesus is at the right
hand of the Father.
I am reminded of the day
that Stonewall Jackson was shot. His
injuries resulted in his left arm being amputated. Jackson died, not of bullet
wounds, but of pneumonia as a result of those wounds.
Jackson was such a
brilliant soldier, and so trusted by Robert E Lee that, when Lee heard the
news, he is reported to have said, “Jackson
has lost his left arm. But I have lost my right.”
The faithful spirit is
someone you can trust.
Over the years I have
witnessed a few preachers whose hearts were devastated by people they believed
were faithful.
· They did not stand at his side to build and support
· They had expectations and, when they felt he could not
deliver they abandoned the work
Jesus chose out twelve
men to serve alongside Him, to be trained up in the ministry He longed to see
continue after He was gone.
One of those twelve was
a devil, a traitor, an unfaithful spirit. He revealed the place where Jesus was
used to praying.
Be a faithful spirit.
Be the kind of person
whose can be trusted. If someone asks you to be a friend they can trust and
confide in, be that friend or else tell them before they tell you the secrets
of their heart.
II. A GRACIOUS
WOMAN
Proverbs 11:16 (KJV)
A gracious woman
retaineth honour: and strong men retain riches.
The word grace here
literally means “ to stoop down to another’s level.”
It is exactly what God
did in Christ – He became man.
Retain means “to get and hold.”
Honor is “wealth or riches”
She is compared to
strong men who, by their strength, get wealth.
There is strength in
grace.
1 Peter 3:1-2 (KJV)
Likewise, ye wives, be
in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also
may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
While they behold your
chaste conversation coupled with fear.
I do not believe this
applies only to wives.
No doubt there is a time
when a show of strength is not only appropriate but essential.
We have spent the last
16 years as a country trying to be kind to a terrorist minded culture.
· We have appeased them
· We have accepted them into our country
· We have invited them to pray at national functions
I praise the Lord that
it looks like finally we have a president who will demonstrate some strength
toward them!
It was since the end of
World War II that the United States played nice with communist Russia – afraid
of what would happen if we showed our strength.
Korea was a bust because
we didn’t want to make Russia mad
Vietnam was worse than
that for the same reason
It was not until
President Reagan finally expressed some strength and challenged Gorbachev to
tear down the wall that the cold war ended.
Praise God for strong
men.
But this in no way
diminishes the importance of the gracious soul.
· God has conquered the devil with grace
· Baptist people conquered the lost souls of men for 1500
years, by graciously submitting even to death rather than force their doctrines
on others
No soul ever goes to
heaven because they were forced.
It is only by grace,
through faith that the soul is saved.
Finally notice
III. A
MERCIFUL MAN
Proverbs 11:17 (KJV)
The merciful man doeth
good to his own soul: but he that is cruel troubleth his own flesh.
I am reminded of the
Beatitudes, part of which reads,
Matthew 5:3-7 (KJV)
Blessed are the poor in
spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they that
mourn: for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek:
for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are they which
do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
Blessed are the
merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
Both grace and mercy may
be translated as “kindness”.
· It is a kind thing to be gracious
· It is a kind thing to be merciful
But the two are unique
one from the other.
· Grace kindly gives what is undeserved
· Mercy kindly withholds what is deserved
I saw something
interesting in the Hebrew definitions:
· Grace bows down to another’s level but
· Mercy bows before an equal
According to Strong’s
Hebrew Dictionary, to be merciful is to
submit or to shame oneself.
Mercy has the right to
judge but chooses not to.
Mercy puts the concerns
of someone else above their own, it sacrifices for the sake of another – and
the other deserves to be judged.
What an apt description of the saving work of Jesus Christ!
We deserve whatever
judgment we get.
But God stooped down,
became a man, and sacrificed Himself instead of us.
Mercy is sacrificial in
nature but notice what the Bible says is the outcome of this sacrifice; “The merciful man doeth good to
his own soul…”
Why?
Because the merciful obtain mercy.
Cruel, hard-hearted, legalistic people eventually fall under
judgment of their own.
But the merciful, when
they need mercy, receive it.
Conclusion
When a counselor
recommends a client find a “safe person” he means a discrete person, someone
who can be trusted not to be critical or to blab around what they hear.
I recommend that you
find the kind of safe persons, Proverbs describes in our text tonight:
· Someone who will try to strengthen and build you up
· Someone who will lead you by grace and example and not force
and
· Someone who will give of themselves for others, even when
the others do no deserve it
And I want to challenge
each of us to be this sort of “safe person”.
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