WHAT SPIRIT FILLED LOOKS LIKE

Ephesians 5:18-33 (KJV)

And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;

Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;

Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;

Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

In my observation, most preachers who preach this passage, do so honestly and with good intentions, but they completely misrepresent the text.

It’s not that what they say is wrong even.

·   Everything they will say about the role of the wife is right

·   Everything they will say about the role of the husband is correct

But by not adequately giving the context,

·   They miss the point of marriage and

·   They fail to give their hearers the proper tools to obey the passage.

Remember, the book of Ephesians is about the church

·   That it brings different people together to become one new man in Christ

·   That this mysterious union has enemies and

·   That this unity takes effort to maintain

We have been working our way, for a few weeks now, onto the subject of the Spirit’s filling and the importance of being filled with the Spirit in order to have unity in the church.

This whole section about husbands and wives, isn’t really about husbands and wives at all; it is about Christ and the church.

Until we figure out that this life isn’t about God giving good things to us but about God conforming us to the image of His Son, we will never get the Bible right!

Your marriage isn’t about you being

·   Happy and

·   Compatible and

·   Giddy and

·   In love

Your marriage is about God showing the world what Christ and His church is like.

And that means your marriage is so much more important than you could ever have imagined!

The passage isn’t about how to be good

·   Husbands

·   Wives

·   Children and

·   Parents

The passage is a description of what happens when people are filled with the Spirit of God.

Having said that note:

· Spirit filling is not choosing to do these.

·   Spirit filling is yielding to the Spirit in these.

The reason why some can't do this consistently is because they are doing it, not because they have surrendered to the Spirit to do it in them.

I am going to divide Ephesians 5:19-6:9 into three groups

I. IN THE CHURCH

Ephesians 5:18-21 (KJV)

And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;

Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;

Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;

Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

I see at least three things here;

A. Speaking

The question that has to come up is, this talking about church?

I hope I have demonstrated that the whole book of Ephesians is about the church.

Ephesians 5:32 informs me that this passage is certainly about the church.

It looks like it is saying that we speak to ourselves through “psalms, hymns and spiritual songs” and I won’t argue that.

But knowing that the text is about the church – I can’t help but expect that preaching is also anticipated in this.

So much of what we do at church is done through the spoken word:

·   There is greeting one another

·   There is teaching classes

·   There is public prayer

·   There is fellowship and visiting

·   There is Bible reading and

·   There is the preaching and then

·   There is singing

We don’t keep any of that to ourselves. We do it corporately.

·   We speak with each other

·   We teach each other,

·   We sing with one another

B. Singing

There are three classes of songs listed:

·   Psalms – that’s singing the Bible

·   Hymns – that’s singing songs about God

·   Spiritual songs – that’s songs that teach some truth or practice

C. Submitting

In church, everyone submits to the other.

·   We put the needs of others above our own

·   We prefer others before ourselves

·   We esteem others better than ourselves

At least, that’s what happens when we are filled with the Spirit.

Over the years I have witnessed what happens in the life of people as they grow in the Lord.

At first, they might not even be saved.

·   They come to the services at the last minute.

·   They sit quietly, probably in a corner.

·   They might have their arms crossed

·   They look suspiciously at everybody around them

After a bit, if they keep coming, they warm up some

·   Probably by now they have gotten saved and baptized

·   They walk around with us and shake hands when we do that

·   They might come early enough to visit with one or two they have come to know and like

·   They will pull out a hymnal and sing with us now

·   They might even watch me when I am preaching

When they have grown in the Lord

·   They now have some ministry in the church

·   They come early so they can greet people, even those they have never met

·   They don’t just sing, they sing out

·   They don’t just watch me preach, they are engaged in the preaching

·   They don’t just attend church, they are active participants in making church what it is

At least, that’s what happens when they are filled with the Spirit.

Class number two is

II. IN THE HOUSE 

Ephesians 5:22-33 (KJV)

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Ephesians 6:1-4 (KJV)

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)

That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Every marriage is a small picture of Christ and His church.

The children in that marriage picture the church’s efforts to win souls and to plant new churches.

In this scheme we have four lessons

A. Wives

Ephesians 5:22-24 (KJV)

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

The key word for the wives is – submit.

Remember, she isn’t the only one submitting.

Everyone in the relationship is submitting to the Holy Spirit and everyone is submitting to one another.

But the wife has a particular role in the marriage relationship.

She is to picture the church.

She is not the Holy Spirit of the home. Nowhere does the Bible say anything like that.

She pictures the church in the home.

B. Husbands

Ephesians 5:25-31 (KJV)

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

The key word for the husbands is – love.

It isn’t lead.

He does that, he is the head of the home just as Christ is the head of the church, but the key feature of the husband is not leadership, it is love.

If more husbands exercised love before leadership perhaps more wives would submit to their leadership.

Ladies I am not giving you and excuse to not submit.

Guys, I am just telling you how you can help her be more submissive.

Exercise your leadership and be loving.

C. Children

Ephesians 6:1-3 (KJV)

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)

That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

The key word for children is - obey

There is a difference between the submission of a wife and the obedience of the child.

· The wife submits to the will of her husband, but she is an equal.

·   The child obeys the will of its parents because they are their superiors

And a child continues to obey the will of its parents until the parents are no longer superior.

There comes a day in every young person’s life when they have enough

·   Experience,

·   Maturity and

·   Wisdom

to strike out on their own.

Until that day they obey their parents.

After that they honor their parents because it was them who gave them the experience, maturity and wisdom.

D. Fathers

Ephesians 6:4 (KJV)

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The key word for the fathers[1] is - raise[2]

There are a lot of different ideas about what it means to provoke your children to wrath.

I think it means to teach them to be angry by being angry all the time.

I believe both parents are implied in the context so both mom and dad can be involved in raising our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

How you raise your children matters to your church.

You want to raise your kids with care and purpose; training them to be Spirit filled members of that church when they come of age.

The final class is

III. IN THE WORLD 

Ephesians 6:5-9 (KJV)

Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ;

Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart;

With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men:

Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free.

And, ye masters, do the same things unto them, forbearing threatening: knowing that your Master also is in heaven; neither is there respect of persons with him.

No church member[3] lives and breathes and earns his income inside the church.

This is here I think because being filled with the Spirit of God isn’t just what we do at church, but should be what we do every day of our lives, even when we are earning our bread by the sweat of our face.

In the work world we will all be one of two persons:

·   servants or

·   masters

·   Labor or

·   Management

·   Blue collar or

·   White collar

I understand that there can sometimes be a mixture thing that goes on, but in general terms, we can reduce it to these two.

A. A Spirit filled servant sees the Lord as his master

He serves the one above him as if he were serving the Lord himself.

B. A Spirit filled master sees himself as no different than the servant

Because he knows he also has a Master in heaven.

Conclusion

I want to remind you one last time tonight that Ephesians 5:19-6:9 is not a set of instructions:

·   How to be a good wife

·   How to be a good husband

·   How to be a good kid

·   How to Be a good parent

·   How to be a good employee

·   How to be a good boss

We have all but ruined the testimony of Christ’s church by teaching people to do things to be right with God.

This passage is a description.

It points out to you what it looks like when you are filled with the Spirit of God.

The purpose of the text is not to get you to do these things.

The purpose of the passage is to encourage you to surrender to the will of the Holy Spirit so these things become you.

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[1] Though it is specifically directed at the fathers, probably because is it is more likely for the father to be angry, I think the parents is implied.

[2] That’s a one word replacement form “bring them up.”

[3] At least very few.