DO YOURSELF A FAVOR
Or ...
Ephesians 5:18-33
My text for the evening is Eph 5:28b
"... He that loveth his wife loveth himself."
I got to thinking about that, and I realized that there were some selfish reasons to love your wife!
Even if you didn't want to love your wife just because you love your wife, you ought to love your wife for your own benefit.
By the way ladies, we could easily turn this around and say
"She that loveth her husband loveth herself."
Either way
The husband, and the wife are doing themselves a favor to love their husband or their wife!
We are living in a selfish day.
Everyone is taught to think of themselves first.
- To seek their own happiness
- To "look out for number one."
While that is a poor way to be, this verse does tell us that there are some personal reasons why men ought to love their wives.
Simply put, YOU ARE GOING TO LIVE A HAPPIER LIFE IF YOU LOVE HER, THAN YOU WILL IF YOU DON'T!
I tell people in pre-marriage counseling that marriage is the closest thing to heaven we have on earth.
But it can turn into hell real quick!
For your own sake, men, it makes sense to love your wife like Christ loves the church!
For purely selfish reasons, fellows, it makes sense to love our wives unselfishly!
Let me give you three things that will happen if we love our wives:
If we love our wives,
I. THE HOME WILL BE HAPPIER.
Doesn't that stand to reason to you?
If you love your wife like you should love your wife, your home will be a happier place to be!
You'll want to go home after work because it will be a pleasant place to be!
Don't you feel sorry for people who dread going home?
- Men who dread going home to a bickering wife
- Wives who dread going home to a mean spirited and ill tempered husband.
- Kids who are afraid to home to parents who can't control their own anger!
I HURT FOR PEOPLE IN THOSE PLACES!
I'll tell you, the place to begin to fix that is for me to love their wives!
If men will love their wives (or, conversely, if women would love their husbands)
A. Their Would Be Fewer Fights at Home!
Notice I said fewer fights, not no fights!
We are not perfect and I doubt that it is possible for any two people to live in the same house for any length of time without disagreeing sometimes.
I hate when Anita and I disagree, and if we argued and fought very much, I WOULD BE MISERABLE!
But there are a couple of things that have happened in our relationship that have really been a blessing to me:
1. We argue very seldom.
When we do argue
2. It is never a major fight
We have never ever, not even once had a knock down, drag out, throw dishes around that house and pull knives out after each other kind of fight!
I like how Brother Bramblett put it. He said that he and his wife had never had a fight; They had had intense discussions, but never fights!
Listen, when the husband loves his wife like Christ loves the church, the house will be happier because their will be fewer fights!
If men would love the wives
B. There Would Be Softer Speaking at Home.
The Bible says
A soft answer turneth away wrath.
In counseling couples who are having problems, one of my first pieces of advice is
MAKE YOURSELF SPEAK SOFTLY!
We all know that different kinds of music affects our spirits differently, don't we?
Soft music tends to relax and calm us, while wild loud, rock type of music creates tension in us.
The same thing is true with the volume of the voice.
Loud speaking creates its own tension, while soft speaking calms the same tension.
IT IS VERY HARD TO BE ANGRY WHEN YOU ARE SPEAKING SOFTLY!
What a wonderful thing it is to come home to a house full of family members who speak softly and tenderly to each other rather than yelling and screaming at each other!
If a man would love his wife
C. There Would Be Happier Hugs at Home
I mean hugs that are given just because you love each other, and not hugs that are given to try to make up for the dumb fight you just had!
Whenever Anita and I have had a fight, it has ended with us hugging each other and apologizing to each other.
We hug and say we never want to get into and argument again. And we enjoy those hugs.
But the hugs I enjoy the most are the ones we give to each other. not as we are making up, BUT JUST BECAUSE WE LOVE EACH OTHER!
Let me tell you men, THERE ARE PLENTY OF SELFISH REASONS TO UNSELFISHLY LOVE YOUR WIFE!
Do yourself a favor and do it!
If a man loves his wife,
II. THE RELATIONSHIP WILL BE LOVELIER
"He that loveth his wife, loveth himself"
When you love your wife, you get the benefit of
- a happier home and
- a more loving relationship
There are two ways for a married couple to live together:
- You can endure the relationship
- You can enjoy the relationship
The difference between the two is UNSELFISH LOVE FOR THE OTHER!
I listed four words, all beginning with the letter "L," that help me to describe a loving relationship:
A. Love is Living for the other
Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it.
God loved the world and gave His only begotten Son for it.
Love will give for the one loved.
Love will sacrifice it life for the one that is loved!
Don't say you love someone you aren't willing to sacrifice for!
Most people never do love their spouses. They are married because of what they hope to GET from their mate, not what they hope to GIVE to their mate!
LOVE LIVES FOR THE OTHER!
B. Love is Longing for the other
I worry about a man or a woman who is content to do a million things besides be with their spouse!
I tell you something:
THERE IS NO PLACE I WOULD RATHER BE
And
THERE IS NO PERSON I WOULD RATHER SEE
Than Anita Louis McKenzie!
I go to the Men's Retreat, and I do enjoy it.
BUT THE WHOLE TIME I AM THINKING ABOUT HOME!
I sit in my office and work, Anita teaching downstairs, and once in a while I look down at the building. I can't see her, BUT I KNOW SHE IS THERE, and there is no place more wonderful to me than where Anita is!
I have had men tell me that they are self sufficient and they just don't need to be around their wives that much.
THAT DOESN'T IMPRESS ME ONE BIT!
I believe on of the most manly acts their is is to admit that we need our wives!
After all, GOD THINKS WE DO!
He looked down at Adam and said it wasn't good for him to be alone.
THAT WAS BEFORE THE FIRST SIN! Adam wasn't all right by himself, even when he was perfect!
How much less are we, in our imperfection?
Love is Living for the other
Love is Longing for the other
C. Love is Lasting until death
You can't fall in and out of real love.
It is a decision you make. You decide you want to give yourself for her.
Love for your wife is to last "til death do us part."
- You'll get up tomorrow morning and decide to love her all day that day, then
- You'll get up the next morning and you'll make the same decision and
- You'll keep making that decision until either you or she dies.
And if she is the one who dies first, you'll just keep on loving her even though she is gone!
You see, that is love!
Love isn't saying,
"How come am I always the one who has to change?"
Love doesn't say,
"I am tired of always doing what is right when he doesn't ever o what is right!"
Love made a commitment on the wedding day that said
I promise to love, comfort, cherish, and obey, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.
And love KEEPS ITS PROMISES!
And then
D. Love is Leaving an example for the kids
When you love your wife until death, you leave an example for your kids that they will more likely follow!
Love lasts and longs for and lives for the other person.
And such love sets and example that our kids need to be able to see!
Do yourself a Favor, men, LOVE YOUR WIVES!
If a man loves his wife,
His home will be happier
His Relationship will be lovelier and
Finally, if a man loves his wife,
III. THE MEALS WILL BE HEALTHIER!
(she won't want to poison you!)
"...He that loveth his wife, loveth himself."
You have all read those stories about wives that finally got their husbands back, haven't you?
A friend of mine when I was in high school, had an outspoken mother.
There was a case back in those days where a woman was being tried for killing her abusive husband.
One night, while he lay drunk on the bed, she poured gasoline on him and set him on fire!
My friend’s mother would teasingly remind him of that story and say,
"You may be tougher, but you've got to sleep sometime!"
If a man loves his wife, he doesn't have to be afraid of her!
She will
A. Help Him Happily
God created the woman to be a helpmeet for her husband.
While there are exceptions to every rule, most women would happily help their husbands be whatever he believed God wanted him to be
IF HE WOULD ONLY LOVE HER LIKE CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH!
If a man loves his wife, she will
B. Honor Him Wholly
Proverbs 31 says of the virtuous woman, that her husband sits at the gate of the city - he is honored by the town, and thought well of -
The implication is, HIS WIFE HELPED HIM GET THERE.
Any wife would do that for her husband if he really loved here!
And, lastly, If a man loves his wife she will
C. Heap On Him Bountifully
All of the blessings and happiness she is able to bring into his life!
Ladies have a God given talent for giving!
God created them to be givers!
There is nothing a wife wants more than to have a husband that she can pour out all her giving abilities upon!
Men, do yourself a favor and love your wife!
If you won't love her because the Bible says to.
and if you won't love her just because you ought to love her
Love her selfishly!
Love her because it is the best thing FOR YOU!
- Your home will be happier
- Your Relationship will be lovelier, and
- Your meals will be healthier
Ladies, don't mind it too much if your husbands love you for a selfish reason.
But, if they love you with the kind of love I am speaking about...
THEY WILL BE LOVING YOU UNSELFISHLY!
"... He that loveth his wife, loveth himself."
Just do yourself a favor husbands, love your wives, and wives, submit to your husbands!
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