2 Samuel 15:1-6 (KJV)
And it came to pass after this, that Absalom prepared him chariots and horses, and fifty men to run before him.
And Absalom rose up early, and stood beside the way of the gate: and it was so, that when any man that had a controversy came to the king for judgment, then Absalom called unto him, and said, Of what city art thou? And he said, Thy servant is of one of the tribes of Israel.
And Absalom said unto him, See, thy matters are good and right; but there is no man deputed of the king to hear thee.
Absalom said moreover, Oh that I were made judge in the land, that every man which hath any suit or cause might come unto me, and I would do him justice!
And it was so, that when any man came nigh to him to do him obeisance, he put forth his hand, and took him, and kissed him.
And on this manner did Absalom to all Israel that came to the king for judgment: so Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.
The story of Absalom is one I think, of the most tragic things we find in the Old Testament.
Consider the irony.
David, the man after God’s own heart, lost the hearts of the people of God.
When the prophet Nathan confronted David over sin with Bathsheba and Uriah, he told him, 2 Samuel 12:10-11 (KJV)
Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house; because thou hast despised me, and hast taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be thy wife.
Thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house, and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbour, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun.
David wasn’t done living for God but everything from here until his death is punctuated with family strife.
I’m going to use Absalom as the sum of that strife.
I think it is significant that the Bible nowhere calls David’s fathering into question.
Consequently, those who accuse him of bad parenting must do it out of conjecture and their own ideas of parenting.
We can look into the Word of God and learn parenting skills and then compare what we learn to what David did, but invariably we will end up pointing our finger at our pet parenting peeves while excusing our own problems revealed through David.
I think it is better to view him as a caring parent whose sin had created some very challenging dynamics with his children.
Some of us have found ourselves in that very place.
We have transmitted into our children certain issues that we have no easy solutions to address. Sometimes, as David did, we just want to ignore those issues.
I do not want to judge you, but it would be appropriate to point out that:
· David ignored Amnon’s sin – and Amnon was killed
· David refused to speak to Absalom – and Absalom was killed
· David would not say no to Abijah – and Abijah was killed
To pretend there is no problem in no way resolves the problem.
I’m going to try to preach this passage beginning first by observing,
I. THE PAIN OF ABSALOM
2 Samuel 13:1 (KJV)
And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.
2 Samuel 13:11-14 (KJV)
And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister.
And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly.
And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee.
Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her.
2 Samuel 13:21-22 (KJV)
But when king David heard of all these things, he was very wroth.
And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad: for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.
The problems we find in this passage are so many it is almost impossible to address them all.
A. David’s got children by more than one wife.
Those children live in a constant conflict between loving and hating one another.
B. David’s got himself in a situation that, between his
· calling as king
· conflicts in the kingdom
· quantity of wives and
· quiver of kids
It’s just about impossible for him to keep tabs on every what was going on with them all.
Anita and I have been criticized repeatedly for having only two children. Here’s the thing.
· We have in fact, four children. Two of them died before birth.
If someone doesn’t care enough for us to know and have compassion on that piece of information, I don’t really care much what they think about me.
· Besides, after observing what we did in so many families, I decided very early I would rather be able to raise a few children well than a bunch of them to be wild Indians.
Amnon pretended to be sick and asked David to send Tamar to nurse him back to health.
But David was so out of touch with his family that:
· He did not see that Amnon was pretending and
· He did not realize the feelings Amnon had for Tamar
And then there is this whole thing of a boy being in a room alone with a girl.
David may have never dreamed that his son would be so vile as to force a girl.
I’m saying that, no matter what you think of your boy or your girl, they never have any business being alone in a room with someone of the opposite sex.
Absalom finds out that his full blood sister was forced by his half blood brother. Notice the wording of the Scripture here:
2 Samuel 13:22 (KJV)
And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad: for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.
Absalom buried a bitterness, a grudge, deep into his heart.
Most of you have heard me teach on the subject of forgiveness.
The Bible does not demand that you confront someone you have a problem with. You can and should forgive them and let it go.
For the sake of Christ you have to forgive them and let it go.1 Corinthians 6:7b (KJV)
….Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded?
But let me caution you.
Holding it in is not the same thing as forgiving and letting it go.
For two years, you might have thought that Absalom had gotten over what had happened to his sister.
· He didn’t say bad things about Amnon
· He didn’t spread gossip about Amnon
· He didn’t give him dirty looks at the dinner table
· He didn’t skip family events if Amnon was there
After two years it might have been that most everybody forgot about what Amnon did to Tamar.
King David, who was angry but apparently did little about it when he heard about the violation, very likely figured that the problem had just blown over.
It had not blown over.
Absalom and not “forgiven” Amnon. The bitterness in his soul was about to blow up instead of blow over.
Observe with me secondly
II. THE PASSION OF ABSALOM
2 Samuel 13:23-32 (KJV)
And it came to pass after two full years, that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baalhazor, which is beside Ephraim: and Absalom invited all the king's sons.
And Absalom came to the king, and said, Behold now, thy servant hath sheepshearers; let the king, I beseech thee, and his servants go with thy servant.
And the king said to Absalom, Nay, my son, let us not all now go, lest we be chargeable unto thee. And he pressed him: howbeit he would not go, but blessed him.
Then said Absalom, If not, I pray thee, let my brother Amnon go with us. And the king said unto him, Why should he go with thee?
But Absalom pressed him, that he let Amnon and all the king's sons go with him.
Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, Mark ye now when Amnon's heart is merry with wine, and when I say unto you, Smite Amnon; then kill him, fear not: have not I commanded you? be courageous, and be valiant.
And the servants of Absalom did unto Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king's sons arose, and every man gat him up upon his mule, and fled.
And it came to pass, while they were in the way, that tidings came to David, saying, Absalom hath slain all the king's sons, and there is not one of them left.
Then the king arose, and tare his garments, and lay on the earth; and all his servants stood by with their clothes rent.
And Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David's brother, answered and said, Let not my lord suppose that they have slain all the young men the king's sons; for Amnon only is dead: for by the appointment of Absalom this hath been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar.
Consider this passage carefully and it appears to me that Absalom may have had designs to assassinate his own fatherwith Amnon.
We will never know for sure, but at the very leasthe wanted to murder Amnon in the presence of his father.
David’s love for Absalom is obvious throughout this passage.
It might explain why David acted so erratically with him.
It is never helpful to ignore a child’s violent or angry tendencies.You might think you are pacifying them right now, but eventually they will rise up to cause you great grief.
If ignoring the situation with Amnon for two yearswasn’t enough, David left Absalom an exile in Geshur for three more.
“I found a comment in John Gill's notes[1]on 2 Samuel 13:39 which says,
Absalom might be [brought back] from his exile, … but he [King David]knew not how to do it, consistent with justice and his own honour.1
David found himself in a terrible predicament.
· On the one hand, he loved his son, Absalom
· On the other, Absalom had murdered his very own brother
· On the one hand, Amnon had committed a gross sin
· On the other Absalom had no right to take vengeance in his own hands
David's sense of right and wrong demanded that justice be administered.
But we have to remember that he knew that much of what he was experiencing was God's judgment for his sin with Bathsheba.
Absalom had fled to the land of Geshur to escape his father's judgment for his sin.
And though David longed for his son; David desired to have compassion on his son.....
John Gill's commentary said that David was unsure how to bring him home in a manner that would be consistent with both justice and David's own sense of honor.
Christians ought to be compassionate people.
But compassion can be a very dangerous thing.
· The compassion of our government concerning sexual predators, for instance, has led to who knows how many more victims of those predators.
· The compassion of a parent toward a rebellious child, only leads to that child becoming more rebellious and eventually growing up to crush their own parent's hearts.
· The compassion of the liberal left politicians toward Islam is very likely going to lead to more 9-11 type events.
David has himself in a spot.
He wants to be compassionate toward his son
But he also has to stay faithful to what He knows to be right.
And don't we find ourselves in that very same place very often?
Don't we find ourselves in the spot where we know we ought to express the compassion and kindness of the Lord, but at the same time we have to be true to the justice and holiness of God as well?
· It can be with one of our kids
· It can be with a fellow church member
· It can be with someone we work with
It could be a multitude of other venues too lengthy for me to try to list them all…
Most of us would think David's response concerning Absalom was wrong.
But I try to remember that the Bible summarizes David's life by saying,
1Kings 15:5
Because David did that which was right in the eyes of the LORD, and turned not aside from any thing that he commanded him all the days of his life, save only in the matter of Uriah the Hittite.
…
Maybe the thing to do would be not to condemn David, but try to learn from David...”
Eventually, through the mediation of Joab, David’s general, and a scoundrel of a man himself, Absalom is returned to Jerusalem, but he is not granted an audience with his father foranother two full years.[2]
The Bible reads,
2 Samuel 14:33 (KJV)
So Joab came to the king, and told him: and when he had called for Absalom, he came to the king, and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king: and the king kissed Absalom.
You think things are well between father and son now?
Not on your life.
Absalom held a grudge against Amnon and simply transferred it to David.
Observe with me then,
III. THE PLOT OF ABSALOM
2 Samuel 15:1-6 (KJV)
And it came to pass after this, that Absalom prepared him chariots and horses, and fifty men to run before him.
And Absalom rose up early, and stood beside the way of the gate: and it was so, that when any man that had a controversy came to the king for judgment, then Absalom called unto him, and said, Of what city art thou? And he said, Thy servant is of one of the tribes of Israel.
And Absalom said unto him, See, thy matters are good and right; but there is no man deputed of the king to hear thee.
Absalom said moreover, Oh that I were made judge in the land, that every man which hath any suit or cause might come unto me, and I would do him justice!
And it was so, that when any man came nigh to him to do him obeisance, he put forth his hand, and took him, and kissed him.
And on this manner did Absalom to all Israel that came to the king for judgment: so Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.
Notice with me first of all that, a wicked person can have a charismatic personality.
· They might seem kind
· They might be soft spoken
· They could appear to have great compassion
But what they want is opposed to the will of God.
(The definition of wickednessis any action opposed to the will of God.)
· They may have reasons that seem honest.
· They might have circumstances that seem justified.
· They might have an agenda with which you can agree
But what they want is opposed to the will of God.
· You might like them better than others
· You might identify with them better than some others
· You might have interests similar to theirs
But what they want is opposed to the will of God.
We have, here at the gate of the palace, two men.
One is very obviously a man after God’s heart.
He’s not perfect. But it is God’s will that he is the king and it is God’s will for the people to follow him.
The other is handsome, winsome, amiable, and affable.
But he wants to lead people away from the will of God.
He doesn’t use those terms.
No one would have followed him had he presented himself that way. But it is what he wants to do.
And it is astounding how many otherwise really good people followed him out of God’s will.
I want to end like this,
A man after God’s own heart follows the man after God’s own heart.
